MOM'S RIDDLES

Its really sad that after five years of taking care of her children with absolutely no help from here that she has the nerve to post on her blog,me monster witch and she would like to push me over a cliff and my life is going to be so grim after we go to court in jan,that shes gonna win in court, perhaps the judge will give her custody back but I don't forcee it.she doesn't realize that I have had the best years of their lives that I got to bond with them.teach them things that will stay with them forever,or that I have so many great memories,pictures and the greatest years of their lives, I got to show them love unconditionally,so them I will protect and fight for them forever,give them things that she never even tried to give them and the biggest thing is I have God on my side and thousands of prayers praying for them.so my life will never be grim,it will always be blessed in getting to raise them this long,and I pray that the lord will contiue to allow me to protect them. Nina the littlest one has always been my girl,she's been with me since she was 8 months old.she is the one I worry about,mom has always babied amber and nina has always been treated mean by mom.i pray that God makes sure shes safe and can keep growing into the beautiful girl she can be,but if mom gets her that won't happen so everyone keep praying for my beautiful babies,that God will keep them safe and where they are loved and loved

MOM HAS FLIPPED HER WIG

Its so funny really it is I took mom to court for child support and I guess the poor thing flipped thought she would have to spend a dollar on them so she filed for custody, thinking after five years she has a chance theses kids don't wont to live with her she treats the youngest girl like shit only because she never bonded with her how could she she put her in my arms and left never shed a tear just went and found her another man or two or three God I lost count,how many but the point is she left her didnt come back for five yrs and thinks the kids are going to jump in her arms even the oldest one wont want to live with her, but she asked for the battle so shes going to get it, for years to come I will fight for the kids til the day
i die this isnt a one time fight this will keep going until they will always be able to live with me even if they are eighteen when we stop fighting and theses kids are going to know we kept  fighting for them.

SUNDAY B.S

 Sundays should be for peace not b.s. but of course mom had to visit today and it did not go well .first of all her new husband decided to take it upon himself to kick my little toy chuhuhua this did not go over at all and then I tried to explain to him that I did not want Amber the oldest to lye for mom because mom decided to give only her a gift and not the others,and of course being as smart as he thinks he is it did no good so I believe things need to change its time to talk to the therapist to get her opinion.so far its hasnt been good and all this crap is not helping it

WHICH LIE DO WE BELIEVE

Mom has lied the entire nine years that I have know her, I never know what to believe for five years she was to busy to see the kids, shes had so many boyfriends that she was going to marry, then dropped,but finally found this thing to marry, its kinda funny the way it played out though kids dad got out last year for about a year we tried to help him he moved in our house, we were so hopefully he would go off the drugs and take care of his kids to no availe he decided to do drugs and to hook back up with amanda the kids mom so she stays at the house, but while staying there she was sleeping with dad and her new husband to be so she winds up pregant and once again we wondered whos it was this happened with nathan to  parentity test proved it was dads,  now this last one we hoped wasnt dads and it turned out to be her new husbands but the funny thing is in dec she thought she was preg and they picked out the name chole and she wasnt but in feb the baby was born and her and her new boyfriend chose the name chole to lol. 'now they are supposed to be  buying a house,which amazes me because I thought you had to have good credit now she has a crimanal record garnishments embezzlement charges no job no lic and her new hubby has only been on job for year if they can buy a 200,000 house all of should be able to ;lol  now we are not sure if we are getting a house but we have moved in with our mother in law ,and wanting theses kids to spend weekends there not a good idea ,so which lie do we believe time will tell

MOM NEEDS TO GROW UP !!!!!!

Mom's mentallity is questionable or else I have to much common sense,Last week mom decided to take a walk around the house with the kids,when she does this I know shes up to something,of course shes told the kids not to tell me but they always do, she told them she was getting a new house and they would have their own rooms,so I had to set the kids now and tell them she may get a new house but they would only visit and the new house was hers and her new baby and husband that their house was here but it was ok to go down and have fun at the new house.then I be darned if she didnt come here today to see them and the oldest she sneaks out and gives her 2,00 and tells her to see if I will let them go to her mother in laws house to spend the night,which isnt going to happen because the last time she went she fell down stair and got a 8 inch skull fracture and mom doesnt have a lic, so they are not to go any where with mom with no lic, but she still drives around with the new baby with no lic, go figure ! not theses babies! back to my story mom gives amber money and not the other two she should know they are going to see this,,well of course they do and amber tells a lie that it was change from money papa gave them to spend at store he gave them 5.00 each to spend and I knew this was not true,so I asked amber again and she said mom gave it to her here I am trying to teach theses children not to lie and to always be honest and amber feels the need to keep lying for mom.this isnt the first time she has favored amber,several months ago she gave amber 21 dollars to spend when she spent the night with her then the next week she gave nathan the same amount when he stayed with her well nina wont stay with her much because shes so attached to me.she didnt give nina any money her reply was you didnt stay, so pappa comes to the recuse and give nina the same amount. how do you have four children at the age of 25 and treat each child different this is really ticking me off, what do you think sound fair? theses kids are 5,6,and 8 then her new baby 6 months , I keep hoping she will get it right but I really dont see it

BLESSED BABIES

Well the girls have been sick most of the week, and school is harder on me than them. Amber is struggling so bad at school, and my patience is not what it was years ago, my heart breaks to watch her strruggle.and knowing I can't fix it, Their mom is moving in with her in laws and for the kids it is a bad thing this is where
amber fell and got a eight inch skull fracture and I do not want them going there, hopefully mom will get her house soon or I feel like she will be spending sundays here seeing them, I can't take the chance on them getting hurt again.I wish she would leave them alone like she did the first five years of their life,but now she has an imagine to up hold.and even though she is what she is the kids need to figure that out on their own,She takes them up the road for a little walk and tells them they will have their own rooms and lots of lies knowing that it is not their rooms they live here. they will have to compete with their half sister, on that room. but I try to let them down easy and tell them here they have their own rooms and it will be nice to stay at the new house when they get settled. sometimes I wish I could take it all away for them but they will be stronger having to accept things for what they are ,I just hope they stay as sweet and not become harden from their mom and dads actions, I guess time will tell I love theses little babies more than life its self .we are blessed to have them in our lives. I pray God will help us along this journey and keep them in his hands

FIGHTING SCHOOLS

Well thirty years ago ,I didnt have to fight school to get help for the kids,I have been fighting the school for three years now to help theses babies,not only has their life been hard,they have adhd along with everything else, so they really need help in school, finally getting some where ,Nathan now has a 504 this will allow him to get extra help in class and with the meds hopefully we will get them caught up to where they need to be now to work on Amber she needs help the worse and still working on her ,I have got to get theses kids liking school and liking learning or they will never finish, I spend every evening going thru the fits the melt downs, but we finally do get the homeworks down it drains me and so stressful but will be worth it when they get the help they need keep us in your prayers!!!

MY BABY GIRLS FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

Nina turned five I have had her with us since she was 9 months old,and the last two years,she has been home with mawmaw every day so the first day was so bad I took her to school they had to pull her off me,she was crying and I was crying,I went home and cryed all day gosh it was tough! after three weeks its a little better but she still crys and I still have to run to the car,shes so sweet her and amber are the daughters I never had,and some days I know how hard it is to raise a daughter lol boys are so much eaiser but not as much fun theses little girls are drama queens, I love listening to them playing with their babys and I know they are going to be good mommys not like their mom but truely good moms but thats a long time coming. I keep telling them their going to be 18 before they get to date.lol they are so beautiful eventually I am going to figure out how to get pics on here give me time lol

BABIES COME FIRST

Here it is Sept,and its been months since I have been on here,I guess I'm going to have to put a note on the ref, lol Summer is over and we have had a blast with the pool in the back yard and all the family coming over,the babies have loved it. But now all of them are in school, and Fall is here along with more stress and drama.After five years I have decided to take both parents to court for child support. I don't know how its going to go. Mom has said she will go to jail before she pays support,I mean after all with a new husband and a new baby and buying a new house i guess it would be hard to pay support for three children you dropped like trash,and for five years you haven't bought them anything,she shows up with new clothes new computer,nook readers and spends well over 600.on the new babies nursery,I mean this is really going to put a dent in her plans gosh, please say a little prayer that theses babies get what they deserve. now dad hes in prison for the next four years sotime will tell if he gets his money from a wreck he was in and hopefully the juge will put some of it in trust but you know what even thought things are tight and it takes every dime we have we will still raise theses children with everything they need and mostly what they want because our generation was rasied theses babies come first and first they will be we don't have new shoes or clothes but they do!and thats all that matters BABIES COME FIRST

RAMBLINGS

Okay, I forgot about this thing called blog. but I am back I have decided to try to write in  this blog everyday there is so much I am leaving out that I feel like I need to catch up and stay caught up .but taking care of three children at my age and with all the stress, the health problems I have I am really going to try every day to write in this blog. my feelings thoughts and things that I really want the kids to know when I am gone. I don't know why it is so important to me to do this but it is so hopefully I can get this running. its going to be more of a journal than a blog because the only people I care that reads it is the babies.but first I have to figure out how to get it in order oh well in the next couple of days I will get it together lol

Stress

Thats my favorate word, there is those who cause it, and those who help you deal with it, needless to say more people cause it than help deal with it.It seems Amber and Nathan are the ones who are having issues with dad being in jail and mom and her new family, Amber is so moody, crying, acting out and Nathan is just angry.and at our house the stress is high, I am the one holding the bag, sometimes I feel really bad, I need to stop openning my mouth and just listen to them, I have decided to go to court house and petition the court for child support, theses children deserve something to . Theres mom with the new baby who gets new clothes, a 600 dollar nursery and she doesn't even bring theses three a sucker, so sad they see this, Nina told farmer granny and her dad that mommy loves this new baby more than us. we tried to explain that little babys need help all the time but I don;t think she bought it. The good thing with Nina is we have had her since she was eight months old so we have always loved and played with her she more grounded it because of it, the other to missed out on being loved by their mom and dad at that age and we didnt get them til they where three and four. the therapist says they will always crave that attention,they seem so imature for their ages although it is not their fault, hopefully they will catch up, so we are doing to double up therapy, to help deal with mom and her new family and dad doing time, my motto is if your going to do have kids, cheating,lying and drugs don't go with children, parents make up your mind have kids and love them or be a druging and don't have kids

Journal in a Pen

Its kind of funny really, while working a V.T, they gave everyone a ink pen that of course has a usb drive in it ,and was told to me 'you need to keep a journal everyday of  that you have the children,when they se mom when they talk to dad etc so I have a cool pen and lots of data, and it was good advice, if anyone needs to keep up with a time line this is the way to go, then I joined facebook its like my pride page it has pics of everyone and stories of kids but that wasn't enough,and a friend suggested a blog, so here I am right now its for my eyes only and may always be who knows at least this way I can keep it always ,make it a book save it for the kids when I am gone lots of things, It is very cool, I want the children and who ever to know there is two sides to a story a made up one called my monstars or the real thing called brokenwings in the basement with only the hard truth no lies at all you choose the one you wish to believe,I lived this life.and so did these children,and we know thats good enough for us

Grandmas join forces

After social services not doing anything to help .moms mom and grandmother decide to get with dads parents and do something ,after all mom is sneaking around getting all of her stuff out of apartment,her bed her clothes all of her stuff, she knows shes been evicted, no time to wait , granny pam can't take them although she would love to.health wont allow it, candice is a single parent and really doesn;t have the room. or thr finances, so dad's parents step up we are now the proud grand/parents of three angels. we go and talk with mom , we are willing to let mom keep them until sunday so we can prepare something for them to sleep in, try to grasp the severity to this, but mom proudly decided no go ahead and take them now.so we do and so starts my angels in the basement!!!

The begining

I worked two jobs, and my husband worked one. We were quiet content, we saw all kids and grandbabies on weekends, life was easy , house always clean, come and go as we pleased. then it started his youngest one, their dad, started drugs, kept getting in trouble then amber was born now when she was six months old I filed custody papers, we got tired of seeing her in her car seat all the time amd them stoned all time, so we kept check on her and then came number 2 nathan still same old dad had been in jail, mom found yet another boyfriend but this time dad wasn.t sure if this baby was his or not so dad had test done, sure enough he is dads to. the next year along comes nina number three. at this time dad had been in and out of jail. mom pulled weekends for shoplifting and other things. and things getting worse all the time. thank God for granny pam she took babies to drs appts, she came by every day and fed the babies, and put out so much money on mom paying bills buying cars, needless to say granny pam got used alot, by this time we knew dad was going away for a long time 4 years so we knew we had to do something time to talk it over

Ticked off at parents

mostly mom, she came up sunday, was telling children that mawmaw and pawpaw were crazy and liers and to keep secrets from us, boy was I pissed, all because dad told the oldest one that momma beat her stomach when pregant with her around fourth month, I agree dad should have kept his mouth shut but dad was mad because mom was cheating on him once again, so he opened his big mouth, and amber wanted to know if mom did, she asked me I told her I didn't know that mawmaw was not there, and that I would not lie to her, she seemed fine with that answer until sunday mom came up and she asked her mom. instead of mom telling the truth, she started her drama, but guess what she did beat her stomach, do I think that could have something to do with amber having c.p yeah I do .amber had a stroke in the womb around fourth month ,seems to fit !!! needless to say ,it would be so nice if mom would leave them alone does it help for them to see her. I think it makes them worse ,does she care No, she trying to ease her mind yeah will it change lets put it this way oldest is eight youngest five, and we've had them five years and mom tells us all the time I don't want them I cant take care of them I jusy want to she them on sundays then return to my made up world and think of them again on sunday   1!!!! Sunday Mom !!!!!

So little time

I swear for the life of me . I don't know where the time goes ,its never enough time in the day for me,so much has happened this week , my babies now have a half sister, mom had her new baby fri the 11th. along with her drama. I sometimes wonder if she even knows the pain she has caused theses children, or that now they want to know why is mom keeping this baby but not us, they think since they live here then new baby should to, we've smoothed it over by saying this baby is mommy's and her new boyfriend so there gonna keep it with them. for now that works, and try to keep it in perspective for their sakes.but they are getting older and wiser, I hope this works for a few more years, mom's still in denial with what happened to them its easier that way.I guess, I mean how to you say ,well I wanted to party and do things didnt have time to take care of three babies let someone else do it, no matter who that person is ,or how much they beat,molest and hurt my babies, if I dont come home then I can say I didnt know anything about it, It wasn't my fault,,,,, keep thinking that mom!!!! dad just as bad drugs more important that babies,I dont have to worry dear ole dad and mom will raise them for me, I will party ,sit in jail party and go back to jail ,,,,,nina is five dad called fron jail and bless her heart she asked him "daddy why did you do this to us again' tell me she not way to smart for her years, shes going to be something else when she grows up and the other two also I don't think they are going to listen to parents lies or excuses for the way they chose to live their lives, only have one thing to say to parents you better be thinking of something good to tell them because time is coming fast.!!!!

Ramblings

Not sure if this is a blog or not..... not sure if I am doing this right or not, really don't care if its done to everyone elses standards,,,, to me this is a way to keep everything down on paper..... so if I jump around please bare with me til I get this thing going the way I need it to go.....lol I'm a mawmaw not a writer. but hope to publish all of this in a little book one day and give this to each of them so when they are grown they will know my feelings in case I am not here,,,,, that way bits and pieces will fall back into place and help them to understand,,,,, things from my perception......of why I was so protective,,,of why I loved them so.....of why I made the decisions that I made,,,not because I had to but because they deserved someone to fight for them,,,, they deserved all of this families love,,,,,, that  they meant the world to me....that I would lay down my life for them and all my children and granchildren  and maybe mawmaw wasn't as crazy as we thought lol

I am done

Yep, I have made up my mind . No more being nice, no more trying to play peace maker. no more trying to blend family into one, so moms happy and every one else. I finally realized that no matter how nice I am or how much I try, this is not going to work so you settle with what you can do not what you hope you can do.I am at peace,with this decision at last. watch out world. its my way or the highway lol no more drama........

Protection against the outside world

How far should I go to protect them, its not the outside that I worry about. Its the ones in the circle that I am concerned about, the ones that made the choice to drop them off,  like trash on the road. but after several years they show up trying to be mom and dad,  trying to ease their pain  ,maybe so they don't look so bad now and in the future , I am leary of their motives !  no not the kids,  but you right the parents. I wonder how long the play acting will last, is it to look good in the new family that they have recklessly started that arrived because of lies, cheat, no thought to anything or no consquences for their actions once again only hoping that someone else can once again step in and clean up their messes , that by everyone turning their heads or keeping their mouths shut to keep peace , they can play house once again, I guess I need to decide !

The year 2010

Wow what a year,  so glad it is over, their dad got out of jail and back in jail all in the year, awsome huh? Then of course mom and dad got back together off and on, hadn't heard from mom all this time, so now we have a sunday mom, she sees them on sunday supervised at my house , for several hours and then back to sunday mom, Its kind of odd though they know mom is mom and dad is dad , but they come to papa and mawmaw for everything , there is no bond at all , so when mom walks out the door, shes not thought of again until they see her walk thru the door the following sunday. her or dad are never mentioned , missed , life goes on.  In their eyes I guess they think every family lives this way, for they know of no other way .I wish sometimes I could get in their thoughts, to see what they see or think, do they feel the pain as bad as I do. I know they cope better than I do. Thank God for his mercy!  children amaze me, they still love unconditional, they don't hold grudges, that is until they get older, all they want is love. I know one of the things I told them when they first came to live with us was if you need a hug , just let me know, no matter the reason . at first thats all I got done was hugs, ,hugs  hugs.

what everyone should know

This blog is not  for you to feel sorry for them or to exploit them, it is to show progress, and hopefully on our journey to a better life,and happiness that our struggles will help your life,and if you have children going thru problems with ADHD or molestation,thru our therapies and trials,that maybe something we are doing will help you. or maybe you can help us. I do know we need to change laws for our children! In Va they will not take this person to court,theses children according to courts were to young to testify and the law would not even try,the only good thing is when they are older,they can do it but in the coming post I would like you to meet each child and see why I love them so much and why I am so proud of them!!!!

The first five years

Theses little darlings have changed my life as I knew it ,see I have a wonderful son that is grown and rasing him compared to rasing them is certainly and totally different ,thirty years ago I rasied him as my parents rasied me, spare the rod spoil the child, as they say. he grew up well adjusted and a fine young man. but on my journey with these three children it  has been a struggle ,emotional, physically mentually in every since of the word.I have cried many tears over theses small children.I have watched them cry ,hurt ,their anger ,their need for love ,their need for acceptance. I have watched their little eyes light up from little thing from presents ,to new clothes.I have woke up in the middle of the night from screams that tore my heart out .I have watched them be so protective of each other ,bless their hearts they are so close .I have had to take nerve pills to keep from losing it when I hear them talk of the things that monster did to them.  for example: in the first time it snowed alot they looked out side and saw the snow and they started screaming and crying ,for the life of me I didn't know what was wrong, after calming them down they told the therapist and my self that the man that molested them(we call him M) well M took them out in the snow and packed their mouths and nose with so much snow they could not breath! and as more came out the more I would sit and cry ,God how could anyone abuse a small child! there is so much I could tell you, but thats not what is important what is important is how they are growing, loving and getting better every day!

My story of three little angels with broken wings

Febuary,2006,I gained custody of three beautiful blonde haired ,blued eyed angels.litlle did I know that theses three angels had broken wings that will take a life time to mend.Theses angels Amber ,Nathan, and Nina have had a rough life from birth. Born to teenage parents,who have emoitional problems along with a history of drug abuse .their lives started out hard from the begining .however lucky enough they have grandparents and a great grandmother that love them enough to scarfice for them,
Theses little angels have come so far in five years ,from being sexually abused; abandoned ,and having ADHD to being in a stabled loving home, and learning to control anger,and learning to accept their lives as they are.

As we grow and learn together, I am hoping they grow up to be loving, caring adults who can face all of lifes problems, and they learn to make the right choices in life. with help from the medical and mental doctors I believe we can do this but most of all with the good Lords help ,his mercy and grace we will come out strong.