The begining

I worked two jobs, and my husband worked one. We were quiet content, we saw all kids and grandbabies on weekends, life was easy , house always clean, come and go as we pleased. then it started his youngest one, their dad, started drugs, kept getting in trouble then amber was born now when she was six months old I filed custody papers, we got tired of seeing her in her car seat all the time amd them stoned all time, so we kept check on her and then came number 2 nathan still same old dad had been in jail, mom found yet another boyfriend but this time dad wasn.t sure if this baby was his or not so dad had test done, sure enough he is dads to. the next year along comes nina number three. at this time dad had been in and out of jail. mom pulled weekends for shoplifting and other things. and things getting worse all the time. thank God for granny pam she took babies to drs appts, she came by every day and fed the babies, and put out so much money on mom paying bills buying cars, needless to say granny pam got used alot, by this time we knew dad was going away for a long time 4 years so we knew we had to do something time to talk it over

Ticked off at parents

mostly mom, she came up sunday, was telling children that mawmaw and pawpaw were crazy and liers and to keep secrets from us, boy was I pissed, all because dad told the oldest one that momma beat her stomach when pregant with her around fourth month, I agree dad should have kept his mouth shut but dad was mad because mom was cheating on him once again, so he opened his big mouth, and amber wanted to know if mom did, she asked me I told her I didn't know that mawmaw was not there, and that I would not lie to her, she seemed fine with that answer until sunday mom came up and she asked her mom. instead of mom telling the truth, she started her drama, but guess what she did beat her stomach, do I think that could have something to do with amber having c.p yeah I do .amber had a stroke in the womb around fourth month ,seems to fit !!! needless to say ,it would be so nice if mom would leave them alone does it help for them to see her. I think it makes them worse ,does she care No, she trying to ease her mind yeah will it change lets put it this way oldest is eight youngest five, and we've had them five years and mom tells us all the time I don't want them I cant take care of them I jusy want to she them on sundays then return to my made up world and think of them again on sunday   1!!!! Sunday Mom !!!!!

So little time

I swear for the life of me . I don't know where the time goes ,its never enough time in the day for me,so much has happened this week , my babies now have a half sister, mom had her new baby fri the 11th. along with her drama. I sometimes wonder if she even knows the pain she has caused theses children, or that now they want to know why is mom keeping this baby but not us, they think since they live here then new baby should to, we've smoothed it over by saying this baby is mommy's and her new boyfriend so there gonna keep it with them. for now that works, and try to keep it in perspective for their sakes.but they are getting older and wiser, I hope this works for a few more years, mom's still in denial with what happened to them its easier that way.I guess, I mean how to you say ,well I wanted to party and do things didnt have time to take care of three babies let someone else do it, no matter who that person is ,or how much they beat,molest and hurt my babies, if I dont come home then I can say I didnt know anything about it, It wasn't my fault,,,,, keep thinking that mom!!!! dad just as bad drugs more important that babies,I dont have to worry dear ole dad and mom will raise them for me, I will party ,sit in jail party and go back to jail ,,,,,nina is five dad called fron jail and bless her heart she asked him "daddy why did you do this to us again' tell me she not way to smart for her years, shes going to be something else when she grows up and the other two also I don't think they are going to listen to parents lies or excuses for the way they chose to live their lives, only have one thing to say to parents you better be thinking of something good to tell them because time is coming fast.!!!!

Ramblings

Not sure if this is a blog or not..... not sure if I am doing this right or not, really don't care if its done to everyone elses standards,,,, to me this is a way to keep everything down on paper..... so if I jump around please bare with me til I get this thing going the way I need it to go.....lol I'm a mawmaw not a writer. but hope to publish all of this in a little book one day and give this to each of them so when they are grown they will know my feelings in case I am not here,,,,, that way bits and pieces will fall back into place and help them to understand,,,,, things from my perception......of why I was so protective,,,of why I loved them so.....of why I made the decisions that I made,,,not because I had to but because they deserved someone to fight for them,,,, they deserved all of this families love,,,,,, that  they meant the world to me....that I would lay down my life for them and all my children and granchildren  and maybe mawmaw wasn't as crazy as we thought lol

I am done

Yep, I have made up my mind . No more being nice, no more trying to play peace maker. no more trying to blend family into one, so moms happy and every one else. I finally realized that no matter how nice I am or how much I try, this is not going to work so you settle with what you can do not what you hope you can do.I am at peace,with this decision at last. watch out world. its my way or the highway lol no more drama........

Protection against the outside world

How far should I go to protect them, its not the outside that I worry about. Its the ones in the circle that I am concerned about, the ones that made the choice to drop them off,  like trash on the road. but after several years they show up trying to be mom and dad,  trying to ease their pain  ,maybe so they don't look so bad now and in the future , I am leary of their motives !  no not the kids,  but you right the parents. I wonder how long the play acting will last, is it to look good in the new family that they have recklessly started that arrived because of lies, cheat, no thought to anything or no consquences for their actions once again only hoping that someone else can once again step in and clean up their messes , that by everyone turning their heads or keeping their mouths shut to keep peace , they can play house once again, I guess I need to decide !

The year 2010

Wow what a year,  so glad it is over, their dad got out of jail and back in jail all in the year, awsome huh? Then of course mom and dad got back together off and on, hadn't heard from mom all this time, so now we have a sunday mom, she sees them on sunday supervised at my house , for several hours and then back to sunday mom, Its kind of odd though they know mom is mom and dad is dad , but they come to papa and mawmaw for everything , there is no bond at all , so when mom walks out the door, shes not thought of again until they see her walk thru the door the following sunday. her or dad are never mentioned , missed , life goes on.  In their eyes I guess they think every family lives this way, for they know of no other way .I wish sometimes I could get in their thoughts, to see what they see or think, do they feel the pain as bad as I do. I know they cope better than I do. Thank God for his mercy!  children amaze me, they still love unconditional, they don't hold grudges, that is until they get older, all they want is love. I know one of the things I told them when they first came to live with us was if you need a hug , just let me know, no matter the reason . at first thats all I got done was hugs, ,hugs  hugs.

what everyone should know

This blog is not  for you to feel sorry for them or to exploit them, it is to show progress, and hopefully on our journey to a better life,and happiness that our struggles will help your life,and if you have children going thru problems with ADHD or molestation,thru our therapies and trials,that maybe something we are doing will help you. or maybe you can help us. I do know we need to change laws for our children! In Va they will not take this person to court,theses children according to courts were to young to testify and the law would not even try,the only good thing is when they are older,they can do it but in the coming post I would like you to meet each child and see why I love them so much and why I am so proud of them!!!!

The first five years

Theses little darlings have changed my life as I knew it ,see I have a wonderful son that is grown and rasing him compared to rasing them is certainly and totally different ,thirty years ago I rasied him as my parents rasied me, spare the rod spoil the child, as they say. he grew up well adjusted and a fine young man. but on my journey with these three children it  has been a struggle ,emotional, physically mentually in every since of the word.I have cried many tears over theses small children.I have watched them cry ,hurt ,their anger ,their need for love ,their need for acceptance. I have watched their little eyes light up from little thing from presents ,to new clothes.I have woke up in the middle of the night from screams that tore my heart out .I have watched them be so protective of each other ,bless their hearts they are so close .I have had to take nerve pills to keep from losing it when I hear them talk of the things that monster did to them.  for example: in the first time it snowed alot they looked out side and saw the snow and they started screaming and crying ,for the life of me I didn't know what was wrong, after calming them down they told the therapist and my self that the man that molested them(we call him M) well M took them out in the snow and packed their mouths and nose with so much snow they could not breath! and as more came out the more I would sit and cry ,God how could anyone abuse a small child! there is so much I could tell you, but thats not what is important what is important is how they are growing, loving and getting better every day!

My story of three little angels with broken wings

Febuary,2006,I gained custody of three beautiful blonde haired ,blued eyed angels.litlle did I know that theses three angels had broken wings that will take a life time to mend.Theses angels Amber ,Nathan, and Nina have had a rough life from birth. Born to teenage parents,who have emoitional problems along with a history of drug abuse .their lives started out hard from the begining .however lucky enough they have grandparents and a great grandmother that love them enough to scarfice for them,
Theses little angels have come so far in five years ,from being sexually abused; abandoned ,and having ADHD to being in a stabled loving home, and learning to control anger,and learning to accept their lives as they are.

As we grow and learn together, I am hoping they grow up to be loving, caring adults who can face all of lifes problems, and they learn to make the right choices in life. with help from the medical and mental doctors I believe we can do this but most of all with the good Lords help ,his mercy and grace we will come out strong.